Randomness

What do you think about when your heart is broken? I mean, aside from the maldita razón you’re hurting. Are you like me where your thoughts jump from the deep despairs of heartbreak to an overwhelming warmth of endearment?

Like, one second I am heartbroken and will cry my eyes out and sob like a fool and think about other moments when my heart has been broken…and then think about the people who broke my heart and then randomly think about those who have always been there…and then think about the absolute happiest moments.

I don’t get myself sometimes. So when others don’t understand me, I can’t blame them. I know it’s not just a me thing.

What music do you listen to when you need a good cry? I, at the moment, have a playlist of Intocable on loop. Some of the songs are sappy, but it’s the feeling of community that makes me want to listen to it. What I mean is this music reminds me of happy moments with my family and of being whole. Of weddings and birthdays and going out to bailes with my primos. Reminiscing about the good ol’ days is what is making me cry at this instance.

Throw in there the heart break of the moment. Fueled by the bittersweet memories this playlist brings. Like I said, I don’t get myself sometimes!

One thought on “Randomness”

  1. thealvarezchronicles
    Reply

    You are way too young to be thinking about “the old days”. Once you understand that you can be free to live in the moment. I think sometimes we seek out sadness so that we can at least feel somethings. Feelings, good or bad, put us in the moment and make us feel alive. To “feel whole again” is something else. That is a hard place to reach. I don’t think it’s found in our memories as much as in the making of our memories. Things happen in our lives that make us look back and think that our good times are behind us. This is especially true when we look back to all those that are gone whom we love and miss so much. But even then our best times can be found in the present and forward. We have to look for them in the present because the present is the only piece of time we have any control over. Hope you have a great writing day Priscilla. I look forward to reading you. – Robert
    P.S. Lately I don’t have to listen to anything in particular to have a good cry. lol. But my playlists have always included 70’s music and classical.

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